2007年12月20日 星期四

hot springs

I like to take a bath or soak in a hot spring. There’s nothing more wonderful than soaking in hot springs, especially during the winter. I think the hot spring is a great gift which given by the earth. For this thought, I appreciated that I was born in Taiwan. Although there are lots of earthquakes in Taiwan, there’s no hot spring if there’s no earthquake. Hot springs are good. I not only can relax myself but also my skin will become prettier and smoother. Other countries also have hot springs like Japan and Iceland. If I have a chance, I want to go there and enjoy soaking in hot springs.

1 則留言:

匿名 提到...

Your first two sentences repeat each other. The first one says "I like hot springs" in one way, and the second one says "I like hot springs" in another, with just one more little piece of information: "in winter". Don't repeat yourself. It's boring and time-wasting. Sometimes it is necessary to repeat yourself, however, but only to emphasize a point that you think is particularly important. This is not such a point, I'm afraid.

Omit the word "which" in your third sentence.

Your fourth sentence is not real English. It has no meaning even though it appears to be grammatical. I think you meant to say something like this: "I'm happy that I was born in Taiwan, a country with many hot springs".

"I not only can relax myself but also my skin will become prettier and smoother" isn't the best -- or even a good -- way to say " They not only relax me, but they also make my skin prettier and smoother".

"like Japan and Iceland" should come right after the word "countries": "countries, such as Japan and Iceland, also..."

You don't really tell the reader anything interesting about hot springs. I can't see the difference between a hot spring and a bathtub after reading your post. You claim that hot springs make your skin prettier and smoother, but I don't believe it. I've soaked myself in hot water at hot springs and in bathtubs, and the major difference was that the bathtub was a lot closer: my bathroom; the cost of the experience was much lower: only the price of a few liters of water and the gas or electricity to heat it; and my skin was no smoother or prettier after the soak than before.